


The Day After

by Darkdorkchan (Raburabusama)



Series: Birthday boy Kou [3]
Category: Diabolik Lovers
Genre: Coitus Interruptus, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Mirror Sex, Not Wearing Underwear, Pancakes, Vampires, am i just that weird and lonely, how is kareshatsu not a thing here??, kareshatsu, shit that was a spoiler, skanky pants, xDDD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:08:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23532091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raburabusama/pseuds/Darkdorkchan
Summary: The Day After Kou-kun's birthday party dawns with two exhausted vampire boys in one bed, nicely entangled. They try get a bit rambunctious after waking up, but get pulled into a full Mukami family breakfast madness instead.
Relationships: Mukami Kou/Sakamaki Subaru
Series: Birthday boy Kou [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681579
Kudos: 21





	The Day After

**Author's Note:**

> Suprise! I can’t stop writing more Koubaru bullshit that absolutely no one asked for xD I'm sorry for my sad attempts at humour x'''D

Like slowly floating to surface from the bottom of dark waters Subaru became sluggishly aware of himself and his surroundings; the warmth in which he was wrapped, the pleasant soreness all over his body, and the slow breathing of someone else tangled so tightly with him he wasn’t sure where he ended and the other began. For a long while he just laid there, basking in this stillness, enjoying the detached peace. It was not completely dark, even through his eyelids he could sense daylight sneaking in. With the awareness of light, the past started to come back to him, bit by bit.  
Kou had been insatiable. Well, he had been too. After that first rushed rutting they found the joy of slowly exploring each other’s bodies, trying to find all the ways to unravel the other. Subaru had never experienced a lover who could actually resist him, and whom he could manhandle without fearing they’d break if he lost control, nor had he encountered a partner so capable of putting up a fight when they so wanted, someone so unyielding. It was bewildering, frightening but it made him want it all the more. He squeezed the sleeping vampire in his arms, cracking his eyes open just a bit to see that sleeping face, his lover’s face.

Kou looked utterly angelic. Something painful stuck into Subaru’s throat, an ache that suddenly crushed his chest. For a moment he couldn’t breathe, taking in the spidery-thin shadows Kou’s long eyelashes cast onto his cheeks, the satisfied curve of his sleeping smile, and the golden chaos that was his hair. He looked like an innocent boy rather than a …rotten, scheming two faced vampire.

Kou murmured in his sleep and started to move. Hastily Subaru shut his eyes and pretended to sleep, not wanting the other to spy even a hint of what had surely been written on his face.

***

Groaning he came to, he hadn’t meant to fall back asleep. Groping around he realised he was now alone. His eyes shot open. The whole bed was empty, a mess of rumpled sheets with a smattering of crushed fake flowers still here and there.

“Sleep well?” a honeyed voice came from somewhere at the foot of the bed. Kou was sitting on the edge, phone in hand, smiling down at Subaru. And wearing his shirt. Subaru’s breath hitched, and Kou’s sly little smile got all the wider. They were almost of the same height, but Kou was a lot slimmer, so his grey shirt drooped on Kou’s shoulders. Not to mention how the neckline that felt like nothing at all when he wore the shirt himself now looked somehow incredibly low, indecent. Mouth dry Subaru swallowed hard, feeling an already familiar heat pool in his groin.

With all the feline leisureness in the world, Kou stretched, letting Subaru see how he was actually wearing nothing but his shirt, almost within his grasp. All the cobwebs of sleep burned away from his head in an instant, and like a viper striking he had shot up to pull Kou close before he even himself realised what had happened. Kou giggled rolling on top of him, eagerly into his embrace. Kou found his lips to give him a kiss, one that Subaru gladly deepened, his hands roaming on Kou’s back.

“Good morning.” Kou whispered into his lips when they finally broke the kiss. Subaru managed a wordless grunt in return, still teetering on the edge of sleep and unable to handle all this overwhelming shit he had to deal with first thing in the morning. Or day, or evening?

“I slept really well.” Kou murmured, pulling him up from the sheets and reluctantly Subaru allowed him to. He wanted to drag Kou back down into the bed with him. Kou’s words sounded laden with heavier meaning, but Subaru found himself unable to ask, so he just replied:

“Yeah, me too, better than… in a long time.”

Kou beamed a radiant smile at him, then his face warped into something much more wicked. A chill ran through Subaru, apprehensive about what devilish plan Kou was harbouring now.

“Okay, so, we overslept a ‘little’.” Was what he said, and Subaru didn’t understand. Instead of explaining, Kou slipped out of his grasp, absconding from the bed before Subaru had time to catch him. The fact that the blonde was wearing nothing but his shirt might’ve helped this.

The whole room was a mayhem of discarded clothing, dimly lit by sunshine intruding from the tiniest cracks between heavy curtains. Kou fished a pair of discarded velvety sweat pants from the floor, slipping them on before Subaru died of a violent case of nosebleed. The pants were really not better at all, dark red, tight in all the right places and an atrocious “Sweet Stuff” sequined over the ass. Subaru felt faint as all the blood in his head drained south just from looking. Kou had really nice, long legs.

“Oi, give me back my shirt.” Slipped out of his mouth unintended. He only wanted Kou back within his grasp, here in the bed.

“Nah.” Kou gave him a devilish look over his shoulder, ass tilting slowly to the side.

“You can’t just keep it forever.” Subaru tried, with a voice a bit too thick for his own good.

Kou sauntered over to the other end of the room, hips swaying fluid. He then bent over, with incredible deliberateness, to go through another haphazard pile of clothing.

“I’ll give you something in return so we’ll be even.” His voice was so sickly sweet it made Subaru incredibly thirsty. He wanted to jump up and drag the bastard to bed with him, from the hair if he had to, but his raging hard on kept him in check, knees politely bent.

Finally Kou found something he deemed acceptable, but he just threw the silky grey shirt to Subaru, keeping well away from him.

“Just get in here!” He growled, crumpling the shirt in his fists. Kou smiled wider, humming some tune there in the middle of the room and danced slowly to this invisible song. Subaru realised the damned pants rode really low on Kou’s hips as a generous sliver of his stomach was revealed every time the dancing boy lifted his arms high. 

“Put the shirt on and I might~~” he meowed, still moving slowly, hypnotising. Subaru counted his losses and pulled the shirt over his head. Shit, it was pretty snug, but he managed to wiggle it on without tearing any seams. It wasn’t just snug, pretty damn tight, especially over the shoulders and around his chest.  
Kou let out an adoring moan at him, from over the other end of the room:

“Looks good on you~” Subaru felt his cheeks heat up a little, not used to being the focus of such attention. Gruffly, and hiding behind his curtain of hair he said:

“Now get over here.”

“C’mere instead.” But Kou’s voice was coming closer, and when Subaru lifted his gaze he was offering him a pair of sweatpants, luckily black ones, though. 

“I really wanna play” he sounded regretful “but– we don’t have time now.”

“W-what do you mean?” Subaru managed, but he took the garment anyway.

“Pancakes.”

Subaru’s brain skipped a few steps and then came out blank. “Huh?”

“Ruki-kun’s promised to make us all an after birthday party pancake brunch extravaganza!”

“Haah?!” This helped Subaru’s confusion not one bit, “Us?” _As in me included?,_ was encompassed in Subaru’s current eloquence. Kou nodded, looking puzzled himself as to why Subaru would need to ask such a thing.

“Of course.” He just shrugged and turned to the mirror to sort out his bed head.

“Why should I – I mean…” Subaru growled as words failed him “It’s your family thing!”

The mere idea that one Mukami were to sit at their monthly family banquets was so confusing Subaru was short circuiting imagining himself at a similar event of the rival family. The fact that he and Kou were… maybe… sort of, in some kind of a relationship, maybe, made things only worse not better.

“Ahhh, don’t worry ‘bout it, Ruki-kun will make enough for all!”

“That’s not what I’m worrying about.” Subaru grumbled, burying his face in his hands. While he was thus distracted Kou sneaked up to him, running his fingers through Subaru’s snow white hair:

“We’ll have time to play after breakfast.” he murmured softly. 

“What if I don’t want any pancakes?” Subaru’s tone was suddenly dangerous;

“I’ll just eat you!” Kou only barely evaded his attempt at grabbing him by the wrist to pull him back into the bed.

“You’ll need to catch me first!” Kou was fluttering back out of his grasp. Hastily he pulled the stupid pants on, luckily they were less skanky than Kou’s, to go after the insufferable bastard.

Kou really didn’t have anywhere to flee in his room, small as it was, nor did he even try to escape into his tiny private bathroom, but he did his best. Subaru’s murderous instincts mixed with the heat of his lust for Kou, and soon the boy was cornered, then tackled.

Kou quickly stopped struggling, hands sneaking around his back to pull him close with a breathless laughter that was soon swallowed by Subaru’s kiss. His eager hands traced the sequins on Kou’s ass, only to grab onto his buttocks to pull him closer. Kou moaned out his appreciation into Subaru’s mouth.

Subaru’s slightly softened dick sprung back into life as Kou’s hips pressed into his, as their breaths mingled close. Pancakes could’ve not been further from his mind, especially after he felt Kou’s cock begin to harden against him. He left Kou’s lips to kiss a trail over his cheek to his ear, licking and biting the piercings he had there. Kou’s fingers carded through his hair egging him on, the other hand squeezing his butt in retaliation. Even after all they had done last night, Kou’s hair still smelled sweet, Subaru inhaled that intoxicating scent breath quivering.

He spotted movement at the corner of his eye, and realised Kou indeed had a full length mirror propped up in one corner. It was facing away from the bed so he had not paid any heed to it last night, but now they were kind of in front of it. He could see Kou writhing against him, his own hand fondling Kou’s glittering ass. He felt his cheeks go red, especially after he caught his own eyes on the mirror by accident, did he really look that desperate, that flushed? But then again, he didn’t need to look at himself in there as he had a thing he’d probably never get tired of admiring right here in his arms.

“Kou” he whispered, biting his earlobe gently, the other boy just moaned louder grinding against him. Subaru grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around, pressing flush against his back, pushing his straining dick between Kou’s buttocks. His hands smoothed over Kou’s chest, lower. Kou’s breath caught when he saw himself in the mirror, and then it broke into a moan as Subaru slid his hand straight down his pants.

Subaru wasted no time pulling Kou’s dick out, groaning satisfied when his eyes feasted on the reflection. Kou’s cock was already fully hard, prettily pink and the silkiness of his foreskin slid deliciously against his hand when he gave it a few firm strokes. Kou’s hips rocked into his hand, and he followed Kou’s movement grinding into his ass.

Kou leant his full weight into Subaru’s chest, legs giving out, breathing hard, erratic. Subaru nuzzled his cheek, gaze still locked onto the mirror and so was Kou’s as their eyes met there. Kou’s cheeks were dusted with an enticing blush, lips tinted with a rosy shade of arousal, glistening wet as he bit his lip to keep a louder moan in, looking at himself in Subaru’s arms, the other vampire’s firm hand pumping his erection. Subaru’s free hand was slipping beneath his shirt, up his spasming stomach.

“Turns you on, doesn’t it” Subaru whispered against Kou’s skin, voice humming low, “Seeing yourself like this in my arms?”

“Ahnn, Not more than you.” Kou was trying for some teasing nonchalance but his words came out too breathless by far, his eyes drifted shut as they kept rocking into each other. Subaru gave Kou’s neck a sharp nip just below the ear to warn him against trying to escape the show. At the same time he pressed the pink tip of Kou’s dick between his thumb and forefinger to squeeze out a clear droplet of precum, spreading it over the sensitive head slowly.

“Ahhh, fuckk” Kou cursed under his breath, Subaru felt a warm sense of triumph spread in his chest at how the blonde in his arms was slipping, losing himself, soon to break. He kept stroking the slick head of his cock, just the way he himself liked it and hoped Kou would too.

“I want to watch you come like this.” He purred against the crook of Kou’s neck with all the sincerity in his heart, running his fangs lower to the edge of his shirt, not breaking the eye contact. He pulled the ample neckline of his own shirt lower, farther until Kou’s left shoulder was completely exposed. He bit down on it, wanting to leave his mark on Kou’s honey pale skin.

“See what kind of face you make when I milk you dry.”

“Subaru” Kou panted, their rhythm quickening with each stroke of Subaru’s hand, his other having found one of Kou’s nipples to pinch it mercilessly.

“Ahhh– didn’t think you were this– much of ahhh pervert.” He was really close, Subaru felt it in the hardness of his dick, the roll of their hips against each other, saw it in those cerulean blue eyes glazed dark with pleasure and need, heard it in the desperate whimpers the other boy was letting out.

“Well, I’m just full of surprises” he chuckled against Kou’s shoulder, sucking on the darkening skin there, hands merciless, the other twisting the hardened bud of Kou’s nipple while the other kept massaging the length of Kou’s shaft in wide strokes.  
  


A sharp knock came from the door.

  
With a speed that would’ve put a striking mantis to shame, Subaru’s hand was off Kou’s dick, pulling his pants up and with that same momentum he flipped Kou around against him, hiding the evidence.

“Kou, we’re waiting.” Ruki’s voice was steely and clearly audible through the door. Frantically Subaru wondered if the door was locked and if the eldest Mukami had waited long behind it. Blood was roaring in his head, and he felt ready to faint from mortification, or hopefully die. “Come down now.” The tone brooked absolutely no argument.

“Yeah! Sorry, Ruki-kun! We’ll be there in just a tiny second!” Kou raised his voice, still clinging onto Subaru but somehow managing to sound like they absolutely had not been having a handjob moment in front of the mirror. Subaru’s erection at least had vanished instantaneously, but his beet red face reflected in the mirror would be a dead give away would the other decide to step in.

“Do not tarry anymore.” Came a curt reply from behind the door and Subaru heard soft footsteps diminishing in the hallway. Kou let out a long, wordless shout of indignation against Subaru’s shoulder.

“We were just getting to the good part!”

He sighed dramatically, pushing Subaru far enough for them to look each other in the eye, without the mirror this time.

“I told you!” He scolded Subaru, who felt his hackles rise at the accusation.

“The fuck? How was I s’posed to know??”

Kou let out one of his silvery laughters: “It’s fiiiiine, let’s just eat and get back to business!” His eyelids drooped low as he pecked a kiss on Subaru’s lips “We might do with a shower after breakfast, yeah?”

Subaru wanted to refuse the pancakes, not the shower, but doing so would only lead into a fight, and he found himself reluctant to find himself in such a situation with Kou, at least now. Kou disentangled from him reluctantly and started to walk towards the door, just like that.

“Oi!” Subaru shouted after him, grabbing him by the arm.

“What’s the matter?” Kou was the picture of innocence.

“You’re not seriously planning to just go like this??” His voice was maybe a tad too panicked, but he wasn’t able to keep himself in check.

“Like what?” The blank look he got was like kindling to the fire of his aggravation.

“You can’t go down dressed like that?” He managed to formulate it into a question at least, instead of a shout. Kou just scoffed, pulling him along.

“There’s no time to start changing, and I said it’s fine so don’t worry about it, OK?” It was not fine, not at all. Kou was just going to waltz into a breakfast table clad in _his fucking shirt?_ And in those pls fuck me now pants? 

Belatedly, Subaru glanced at the mirror, and felt all the blood drain from his face. The shirt Kou had given him was practically glued onto his skin, emphasizing each and every contour of his muscles with high definition. The material was slightly iridescent, going from a greyish dark blue to a soft pale grey following the angles of his body, not to mention that the collar rode perhaps even lower than that of Subaru’s own shirt. He stumbled, losing his firm footing and by the time Subaru’s brain had registered all of this he had been yanked out of the black door and into the world, the door shutting behind him like a gallows gate, sealing his doom. 

  
***  
  


The dining room was bathed in blinding daylight. It stung Subaru’s eyes, forcing him to shield them. Vampires were not supposed to be out and about their business at an hour like this, but the rest of the Mukami family was already present going about their tasks completely oblivious to the burning light.

Yuuma was setting plates on the table, and to Subaru’s slim relief he was clad in a pretty lazy v-neck and similarly casual pants. Next to him the youngest Mukami was folding the last pristine white napkin with fervent focus, he too had chosen a rather indiscriminate set of clothing for this fine event. Maybe the eldest Mukami wasn’t as anal about properness, manners and crooked fucking ties as his annoying older brother was, even if he kind of looked like it. 

Ruki appeared from what had to be the kitchen carrying a huge plate of the promised pancakes in hand. He had an apron on, and had it not been a steel grey one, with a minimalist cut, Subaru would’ve probably choked. On the table was such an abundant assortment of fruit, berries, syrups, jams and whipped cream, not to mention coffee and teas, to truly make this after party an extravagant affair, as Kou had promised.

“Good morning~~” Kou greeted his brothers, a veritable beam of sunlight himself, dragging Subaru along with him towards the huge table and its bounty.

“Morning” Yuuma set the last plate down “Nice of you to show up just at the nick of time, with all the preparations over an’ done with.”

“Now nooow, it was my birthday and all!” Kou pouted, picking a seat on the opposite side from Yuuma.

“Good… Morning Kou… Subaru-san.” Azusa’s pace was his own, as always, and he creeped Subaru out a bit, as always, but his tone was very friendly. Kou forced him down next to him, and somehow he ended up seated there, between Kou and Azusa, at the breakfast table of the Mukami family. Ruki held his silence until he had set the steaming plate of pancakes in the middle.

“Let’s start then.” He discarded the apron and took a seat next to Yuuma.

“Itadakimaaasu~!” Kou dove into the pancakes like an attacking hawk, Subaru forced his jaw shut as he took all that fervour in. After the initial assault rest of the eaters took a few pancakes each with less haste and more dignity. From the other side of the table Yuuma grinned wide, eyes roaming Subaru’s chest rather shamelessly. Lowly he whistled:

“Nice catch, Kou, wouldn’t mind motorboating those pasty white bazookers myself.”

It seemed like a lightning strike of rage ran through Kou. Subaru, who was almost too shocked to register what Yuuma had even said, could swear his tousled hair puffed up, hairs standing on end like an angry cat’s. His eyes shot out blue sparks of fury as his attention snapped from the food to Yuuma.  
“Keep your dirty paws off my boyfriend, Yuuma-kun! Go suck some more of Shuu-kun’s dick or something, this Sakamaki is off limits! You don’t need two!” He snarled, brandishing a fork towards Yuuma.

There was quite a lot to unpack there, Subaru found. His brain was stumbling on almost every second word of Kou’s declaration. _Oh fuck_ , _he is so cute when he is angry_ , is about as far as he got until suddenly he tripped on the fact Kou was acting possessive, _about him??_ Which naturally led to the biggest stumble so far: _Boyfriend??_ , and then spun downhill onto _Shuu and Yuuma?? What, together??_ Yuuma’s eyes widened a fraction at the mention of Shuu, but the shock vanished quickly into a wide, lewd grin and a satisfied chuckle. Subaru was not so lucky, he was still reeling about everything and waiting for Yuuma to deny having touched his oldest brother.

“Bet you 1000 yen Shuu sucks better dick than your baby Sakamaki.”

Kou inhaled air so hard it was more like a hiss, but before he was able to release another string of expletives, Ruki halted the morning brawl.

“And that’s as far as you go. Kou, sit down. Yuuma, you too.” His eyes and voice were steely, to Subaru’s surprise Kou sat down and Yuuma kept his mouth shut. Just like that.

“But Ruki-kuuun, he started it” Kou whined, defeated.

“And you’ll be the big brother who ends it.”

“Hmph!” Was all Kou had to say to that, stuffing his mouth full. Subaru felt dizzy about all of this, he leant his aching head heavily on his hand, the neglected pancakes still in front of him.

Azusa had watched the exchange in silence, and now studied him not eating his pancakes. He leaned closer to Subaru, smiling all conspiratorial.

“Subaru-san…If you need… Help. I …know what is…. Best… on top… of pancakes.”

“Huh? What?” Taken by surprise he hastily grabbed a bowl of whipped cream and scooped a generous amount of it on his plate in an effort to show he was participating in the breakfast. He wasn’t even entirely sure why he was doing it.

“Good… the cream… is sweet… so it needs… a little power.” Azusa seemed excited, in his subdued sort of way, wanting to share a precious secret with him. He fished out a red glass container from his pocket.

“This is… especially… strong… I’ll share… it… with… you.” He uncorked the bottle and was about to sprinkle the contents onto Subaru’s cream when Kou interfered.

”Nnno! Azusa-kun, don’t give him your weird chili!” his mouth was still full of food. Azusa just looked puzzled:

“But… I’m sure… He will… like it…”

“Yeah, maybe on a taco or something!” Kou reached over Subaru to push Azusa’s extended hand away.

“But…” Azusa kept on pushing.

“Hey, more for you, okay, Azusa?” Yuuma piped in from his seat, taking another pancake from the pile, “Now eat up before they’re all gone!”

“I’ll put… it… here… so you… can… have a … taste… Subaru-san.” Defiantly Azusa left the red bottle in between them, after sprinkling a good amount of red powder on his pancake, finally starting to eat. He looked so put out Subaru just couldn’t take it:

“Thanks, Azusa.” 

He scooped some random strawberries on top of the cream, and with some reluctance sprinkled a tiny bit of the weird powder on top. Azusa’s face lit up at that, but he kept his silence ponderously chewing on his pancake. Subaru felt a hotness creep onto his face doing something so stupid, but the icy demeanour of Ruki seemed to thaw a fraction, so he guessed he had done something right. A strange feeling, one that Subaru berated himself at having, the relief he felt at gaining some approval of the dark haired overlord of the Mukami. Finally he took his cutleries in hand, when Kou was already heaping jam on his second pancake squealing in delight as he took a big old bite out of it:

“Ruki’s pancakes might be great but the vongole bianco he makes is the BEST!” Subaru spied a tinge of smug pride in Ruki’s otherwise so stoic face at the comment.

“I wish I could’ve gotten it for breakfast today!” Kou sighed forlorn, slouching on his seat. Yet he kept shoveling the cream topped pancakes into his mouth with startling vigour taking into account how he seemed to yearn for something entirely else.

“It is not breakfast.” Ruki’s tone was curt, though “Kou, sit up straight.”

And Kou did sit up straight, marvelling the authority of the eldest Mukami Subaru took a bite out of his pancake, they were surprisingly tasty. The chili on the other hand had an unexpectedly strong kick, but he could handle it, barely. He stifled a cough.

“Maaannn, vongole bianco is the best tho~” Kou’s sigh was so dreamy Subaru accidentally let slip, maybe just trying to distract himself from the pain:

“What is it?”

“HAAAH?? How can you not know vongole bianco with your noble upbringing and fine dining everyday!?” Kou practically screeched, hand on his shoulder, eyes wide with disbelief.

“What? I don’t give a fuck about stupid shit like food!” Subaru scoffed, feeling suddenly defensive. “That’s Reiji’s business, and no, we don’t ‘fine dine everyday’!”

Kou’s disbelief was not so easily dispelled, so Subaru felt compelled to continue:

“Vampires don’t even need food.”

“But it’s tasty.” Kou replied, nodding towards his fork with a telltale chunk of pancake & cream on it. Subaru just shrugged going for nonchalance as he had no proper denial. Food might be okay from time to time, but for a vampire it was basically useless.

For a moment they all ate in silence, until Subaru couldn’t take it anymore.

“So, what is it?”

“Huh?” Kou asked around a huge mouthful of pancake, with some cream on his chin, too. Man, the boy would give Reiji a hemorrhage with his table manners, a quick sideways glance told him how they were pretty close to giving one to Ruki, too.

“Vo n go le Bi a n co” Subaru spelled out, exasperated.

“Oh that! It’s pasta. With clams. And white wine” He knew he was giving an incredibly blank stare at that moment. Kou’s eyes sparked with emotion.

“Oh, don’t you just ‘was that it?’ on me now! It’s the best!”

“Hn.” And now Subaru was just out to rile Kou up some more, because he loved him most like that. Well, maybe there were a few other emotions and positions he loved Kou even more in than this, but as far as expressions in the breakfast table went, this was pretty nice.

He let his face split into a crooked smile as Kou was coming up with some insults to hurl at his ignorance. Before they got out of his mouth, though, Subaru lifted Kou’s chin with his hand, bringing him closer.

“Not better than this.” He murmured, licking the smeared cream away from Kou’s chin, only to sneakily slip them into a kiss. Kou let out a pleased mewl, biting gently into Subaru’s lower lip. He was leaning closer, hand already on his shoulder, while Subaru’s tongue was slipping out of his mouth to seek Kou’s.

“Get a room you two!” Yuuma threw his napkin at them, and suddenly Subaru remembered that there were indeed three other vampires present at the moment. Hastily he broke the kiss, hiding his face behind his palm, cheeks red hot. He didn’t want to, but he did glance around the table; Ruki’s steely blue eyes were opaque but threatening, while Yuuma was smirking at them two of them. Azusa was as unreadable as ever, but infinitely more benign than the eldest Mukami, he just seemed happy for them both.

“Oh we will, after we’re done eating.” Kou giggled the image of self-satisfaction. Subaru just wanted to become one with the wallpaper and disappear. But when did he ever get what he wanted?

So, instead he poured himself a cup of coffee. He rarely drank it, but enjoyed the bitterness of black coffee over all the stupid teas Reiji insisted on them drinking at every possible turn. Plus he needed something strong to get him through this madness.

Ruki studied him like some vaguely interesting yet distasteful specimen he had found on the kitchen floor, but addressed Kou when he finally spoke:  
“Don’t you have work today, Kou?”

“It’s fine I called in sick already!” Kou waved his hand at Ruki swatting away his comment like an annoying fly.

Ruki gave him a rather terrifying look, but Kou remained blissfully ignorant, busy with heaping as many toppings on his pancake as he could get away with: “They were gonna make me do some boring old talk show again or something! Nothing serious!”

“Well in that case,” and Subaru could see Ruki was not pleased at all, “you’ll have plenty of time to do homework.”

“Ruki-kuuuuun, noo! I wanna play with Subaru today!” Kou whined. Subaru could swear Ruki’s eyes flashed with some unpleasant emotion when Kou so nonchalantly called him only by his name.

“You can’t just ignore your work whenever you please, Kou.”

“I’ll do my work real good after this one time, I promise. Ruki-kun!”

Ruki gave him a solid “you’d better” look from his end of the table. Silently Subaru wondered how much time Kou actually had to put into his idol work.

“Well, whenever Kou’s is too busy to play with you, you can always come help me with the garden. I could use a strong pair of arms.” Yuuma piped in, seeming to have sensed Subaru’s concern.

“Stop hitting on my boyfriend!” Kou was instantaneously brandishing his fork again at the tallest Sakamaki.

“Like I _said_ , I’m not hitting on him.” Yuuma let out a long sigh rolling his eyes.

“It’s just Kou is totally useless and keeps stealing my strawberries-”

“No, I don’t!”

“Yes, you do. Just welcoming him to the family.” Yuuma shrugged, sounding ever so offended being thus distrusted, while balancing a huge heap of said strawberries on top of his current pancake. They had probably been grown by him, Subaru pondered, astonished at the mental image. The strawberries tasted really good, better than any he’d eaten before.

“Oh!” Azusa, who had been quietly following the conversation next to Subaru, and still on his first pancake, seemed to cheer up at that.

“Then…. if Kou is busy… you can… come… see… my knife collection.” He offered with an angelic smile that caught Subaru off guard.  
“Huh?”

“Do you …. like knives, …Subaru-san?”

“Not you too, Azusa-kun?!” Kou wailed in despair. Subaru sat there in the middle fervently wishing his relationship with Kou would stop being the topic of the day, but he was completely unable to change the subject. What the fuck would he even talk about??

“But… I… want… Subaru-san …to… feel welcome… too..” Azusa looked sincerely confused.

“Settle down everyone, it is not like they are getting married.” Ruki stopped the escalating situation. Subaru nearly choked on his coffee at that word offhandedly thrown in there. This was seriously getting out of hand. There was a hint of an evil glint to Ruki’s eyes, when their eyes met, fucking whole sadist family ganging up on him.

Yuuma cackled enjoying Subaru’s predicament, but soon he too seemed to soften:

“Nah, don’t worry about it too much, I’m just happy for him and you. He’s a fucking pain in the ass and if you’re going to get him off my hair for even a bit, you have my sincerest gratitude.”

Kou gave him another humph and a glare, mouth full of his fourth pancake. Subaru didn’t know how to reply to any of this, he felt dizzy. Even Ruki seemed to soften a bit at that.

“Yes” he murmured, but Subaru felt there was a lot left unsaid.

Then his eyes went steely again and he gave a firm look to everyone gathered at the table.

“Since you went ahead and were proactive, Kou, I’ll let it slide _this once._ ” Kou’s face lit up like a sunrise.

“But.”

“You’ll get a 95 score at each test at midterms, is that clear? That goes for each of you. Your grades have been going down too Yuuma, Azusa.” Subaru felt the temperature drop several degrees as a wave of terror washed over the three younger Mukami.

“Otherwise I’ll be forced to tutor all of you myself.” Subaru thought this didn’t apply to him, but still Ruki’s ominous words made a cold shiver run down his spine. The grey haired vampire was a lot scarier than Reiji.

“I’ll… do my… best, Ruki” Azusa promised firmly and Ruki smiled at him softly.  
“You always do Azusa.”  
  
As the breakfast progressed, Subaru soon found out that Kou was about as insatiable with food as he was with sex. He couldn’t fathom where all that food even went in that spindly thin body. By the time he had finished his first pancake, Kou had annihilated five, going for his sixth before Yuuma stopped him to defend the two slow eaters.

With the brawls and playful teasing between the brothers, it also started to dawn on Subaru that Mukami family gatherings were the polar opposite of Sakamaki dinners. Talk soon diverted to everyday topics starting from Yuuma’s gardening to Ruki’s concerns about chores and the coming school week. The easy banter around the table was so bewilderingly strange to him his head was spinning by the third pancake. This was all too much, all too quick. He had never imagined a vampire family like this. It made him more uncomfortable than he wanted to admit. He was relieved when the last pancake vanished into Kou’s bottomless maw, ending the brunch.

Kou very politely declined an offer to work up a good sweat in the garden before their inevitable afternoon romp by Yuuma and tried rather clumsily to dodge Ruki’s attempt at getting them to help with the clean up. Azusa, to Subaru’s surprise, became their saving angel:

“Ruki, it is… okay, I can… help… Kou has a… guest.” He took a stand between them and the eldest Mukami, surprising even Ruki. He stopped dead on his tracks before the reed thin, and much shorter Azusa. Next to Subaru, Kou’s eyes widened, too.

“Azusa-kuuun! You’re the best brother one could ever hope for.” He wailed, sounding close to tears, and snatched Subaru by the hand to whisper: “Quickly!”

“Oi, Kou!” Ruki tried, but Azusa set a defiant palm on his shoulder shielding their escape.

“Just… Let them… Go, Ruki.”

“I owe you one, Azusa-kun!” Kou yelled over his shoulder as he hauled Subaru out of the dining room and towards the stair. Subaru had a hard time believing they were actually safe even after the black door of Kou’s room clicked shut.

“Was… that okay?” he asked, swallowing as Kou leant against the door hip jutting out at the perfect angle, half lidded eyes wandering his chest and worst of all, lower lip clamped under his teeth in a telltale sign of foul intentions.

“No.” he murmured “But was it worth it? Absolutely.” With that he closed the few step distance between them, snaking his arms around Subaru’s neck:

“Now where were we, Boyfriend?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading to the end (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ This whole debacle streams in my head like one of those crack drama CDs, I hope I was able to convey their voices in this wrong language to even some extent....  
> As always I love every kudos and comment I get to death, thank you x3 And hey srsly give me critique too, I’m not a native speaker so I fear I have some weird things going on in there xD  
> Next up... more Koubaru? Maybe? Who knows? Not me! Would you like for me to write more of these idiots?


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